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Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The hardest part of telling your partner may be deciding how to broach the subject. The specific words and phrases you use will depend on what kind of relationship you’re building. In general, though, don’t stress too much about having herpes. Your partner may even divulge that they also have herpes. And if they have the same type of the virus as you, they can’t get “reinfected,” Dr. Baldwin stated.

What I would recommend is telling them that you have herpes before you have sex — informed consent is very important before you start to be sexually active. Certainly don’t wait weeks or months; that is too much time to keep this from someone, and depending on where you are in your herpes management, you may infect them. The feeling of betrayal from your partner would only worsen with time, too. Also, even if they know, and you are recovering from an outbreak, don’t have sex — wait until you are fully healed. “When I first found out I was herpes positive, two-and-a-half years ago, I was petrified of telling partners because I didn’t want to face rejection — I was embarrassed.

It’s important to know how these sites compare to help you decide which one may be the best option. This is the clearest asset of using a herpes dating site — meeting people in a similar situation. It lessens the worry and pressure around disclosing your STD status and creates a more welcoming environment. What do you do if it’s not you with herpes but your partner?

Dating With Herpes: How To Tell Your Partner

Many people with herpes never have symptoms or outbreaks. For those that do, anti-herpes medications, such as Valtrex, Zovirax, and Famvir, can prevent or shorten outbreaks. Genital herpes is a common sexually transmitted disease, and the way it looks can vary from person by person and outbreak to outbreak. Lazzara stresses the importance of consistent and correct condom use, which can provide significant protection against the spread of herpes. Plus, avoiding sexual interaction while experiencing an active herpes outbreak will also minimize the risk of transmission.

There are home remedies, over-the-counter medications, and prescription medications for herpes. Here’s what you need to know about herpes treatments. Once you share this information with your partner, it’s critical that you see how they respond and listen to what they are saying.

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“No good deed goes unpunished” is often a harsh fact of life. However, you can get prescription antiviral medications to reduce pain and speed resolution. Oral herpes is most often asymptomatic, meaning you don’t exhibit any signs that you carry the virus.

You can also join a support group such as Overcomers. Most importantly, communicate with potential partners, love yourself, and know that life with herpes doesn’t have to mean a life without love. When symptoms do occur however, oral herpes infection can lead to painful sores around the mouth (“cold sores”). Genital herpes infection can cause recurring, often painful, genital sores, often referred to as genital ulcer disease. Cold sores and genital herpes are both caused by a herpes simplex virus.

Generally, it is not life-threatening and has no long-term repercussions on ones general physical health. HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals and HSV-2 can be sent orally … Soooo, since most people are asymptomatic, you’ve most likely already been with someone that has herpes.

The term for this is “shedding,” or asymptomatic reactivation. Just because you have HSV-1 doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to find a partner. You think she’s never seen a guy drop off the planet before after she – very responsibly – told you this incredibly intimate situation? If you do decide to go separate ways because of herpes, my suggestion is to be as respectful as possible. Thirty years in the future, you might judge yourself differently for recoiling from herpes in ignorance. Is the risk higher than being in a relationship with someone who is confirmed negative?

However, some people may still reject a relationship and call things off when they find out you have herpes. This can be hard, but recognize they may have been looking for a way out of the relationship anyways. The right person will work with you to help your relationship thrive.